20 Oct 2014
We've been doing the school run for three weeks now. It's a stressful fifteen minutes and often a blur, thankfully Bubba is still buying into the whole walking to school business.
She goes in fine and has a little friend who she wanders off with. The problem is that no one wants to be my friend, I'm aware that makes me sound stalkerish!
Our first morning (I had to stay) I chatted to a few mums who also had to stay. I came home feeling optimistic and excited for Bubba and myself on this new journey. I smiled and chatted over the next few days to the same woman (& a few others). I'm not naturally an extravert and find it difficult to push myself out there but I do try my hardest.
Over the last two weeks some women seem to have bonded and stand in little gaggles together. A few already know each other as they have older children at the school, a few have made friends as they wait. The same woman who I spoke to and asked how her son was getting on in those first days, she ignores me now. She has made a friend and the two women wait for each other, stand together and she will literally blank me now.
Hubby tells me not to worry and who cares. But it's not so easy when you are the one seeing the same women each day and nobody talks to you. I feel invisible and don't want it to rub off onto Bubba. I can't often think of what to say, anxiety floods my brain and I can't think of intelligent things to start a conversation off.
It feels like I'm back at school being ignored by the popular girls. I'm more relieved than Bubba that it's half term this week. It's nice to get away from the feeling that I'm in a live version of Mean Girls, it's honestly like being back at school myself. Oh well, only another year of this class, next year we get to go to big school and then it'll be the same parents throughout her school journey.