Crazy In Love

I know it's my hormones but it's really taken me by surprise by how much I love my boy. I know that sounds daft, of course I'd love him and he'd be the centre of my universe for a while but still. My heart bursts in a way I wasn't aware it could, he makes me want another baby (yes already) although I know that must be hormones.

Whereas with Bubba, I was excited to get to the next stage with her and watch her grown and learn (still the case), this little man makes me want to slow down time and not let him grow up.

I feel everything he does is a joy, even when he was ill earlier in the week, I wasn't put off.

It's a bizarre feeling and I guess it's probably because deep down, I know he is my last baby.

But gosh, that face, those cuddles, my boy. I'm looking forward to my babies becoming pals and watching them have fun.

Going to Nursery School

We got the letter.

I cried buckets, for this is the end of an era. It signals the start of my girls journey in growing up. I think she is ready, I think I am not ready.

She currently attends preschool every day for three hours but from September she will attend the school nursery and wear a uniform. Growing up.

I've already started amassing the uniform she needs to wear and casually mentioning it to her and how much fun she'll have.

We visited together for an hour and she played and talked to her teacher, she liked it.

It's a wonderful thing and I hope she enjoys the process of learning as much as I do.

But I can't get my head around the fact that next year she will go to school for full days. She will be in the care of someone else for a full day and I won't know what she is doing. Parents with older children will read this and probably laugh at my naivety and once she is at big school I'll sigh with relief. But at the moment it feels like she is going to grow up too fast and I can't go with her always.

She is just realising that she won't be going back to preschool in September but instead going to big School, she cried that she'll miss her best friends and it makes my heart hurt for her because I can remember what it felt like going to school (albeit a year later than she is and to actual school and not just three hours a day) and it's scary stuff. I'm hoping she will have a lot of fun and it'll get her ready for the following year when she has to go.

We missed saying goodbye the her preschool as she got the sickness bug that had been going around the week before (we missed the last two days) so I feel there is no closure for us. Perhaps the ten or so weeks she is off (yep that's right, 10 whole weeks! She starts in October) will help us both forget about the wonderful place she has just left.

It's all beginning, my girls growing up.