28 Feb 2013

Growing and teaching

Quotes are something that I love and recently I've really been thinking about what motherhood means to me. In the past I've responded to some of Bubba's changes with dismay, I've even been heard to say 'but I don't want her to grow up!' Really I do, it's just difficult to let go and once I'm used to the change I'm really excited for the next change.

Two quotes have been rolling around in my head lately and made think again about what I expect from Bubba and what my role is in her life. They've helped me to stop when she's being a little pickle and look at the big picture. She is going to grow up and she is just trying to be who she is and nothing (at the moment) that she does is intended to hurt or annoy me.

"It's our job to teach them how to be without us. It's hard but right from the start, we are preparing our children for a time they'll eventually leave us"
Nadia Sawalha

"A person's a person, no matter how small."
 Dr. Seuss

I spend so long worrying about how guilty I feel leaving her at nursery and how she isn't eating much of anything at the moment. I've started to realise that I'm only here to guide her, ultimately she will leave me (although my mum hasn't been able to shake me off and still gets bothered by me several times a day) and she will make her own choices in life. I'll just be the mother who is following her around anxiously watching as she makes her way in the world.


26 Feb 2013

My Voice

The lovely Charlotte over at Write Like No One's Watching has started a series called A Mothers Voice to invite other mothers to write about what motherhood means for them. It's such a great idea and I'm happy to say that I added my voice...so please go over and check out the other voices and my contribution is below.

I’m awake, my eyes sting from another night of broken sleep, things take twice as long to do because my head feels like it’s full of fluffy cotton wool. My heart is heavy because I know what day it is as I rush around getting ready to go to work. I can hear daddy telling you that it’s nursery Wednesday and my heart sinks lower as you cry and protest.

I cajole you into the car, all smiles again and chattering away as your chubby little fingers clutch tightly the little yellow ducks you insisted on taking with you. It seems all memories of nursery are forgotten for the moment as you question hopefully to see if we are going to see nanna and gaga. I remind you it’s school time and as I drive along (wondering if I’ve got my keys, lunch, sanity!) your moans of displeasure escalate the closer we get to nursery.

Lifting you out of the car, one of your ducks takes a tumble and I’m overwhelmed by your concern and desire that no one gets left behind. I turn and rummage around in the car and the duck is back with you, clutched against your body and I know that I’ll be the only one who is left behind today, returning to an empty car. You grow quieter as we near your classroom, I know you my love better than anyone, I can sense your apprehension and tighten my grip on those sticky little hands, trying to give reassurance as we enter the room. I see the confused look on your face as you bury it in my legs, your arms wrap themselves around me in a desperate attempt to stay with me, your eyes say ‘don’t leave me, why would you leave me’ as you are prised away from me. It feels like my heart is breaking in two as you start to cry and your voice is loaded with emotion ‘No mama no no no’ but still I have to leave you. All I can do is smile bravely and wave and tell you I’ll be back tonight, I don’t feel brave, I feel broken. I leave to the cries of my baby as another woman comforts you, it goes against every instinct I have and I’m rooted to the spot just out of view in the corridor. I’m willing my legs to move but contemplating rushing back in and swaddling you in the tightest embrace and my eyes are welling up.

I have to work but I also want to work and the guilt kills me a little more each time I take you, knowing that all you want to do is be with me. Every hour I wonder what you are doing, who is cuddling you and whether you are smiling again. Only our reunion keeps me from going insane, you happily run towards me, casting aside ducks, cars or anything that gets in your way. Your first words as I scoop you up ‘ducks mama, ducks!’ and again we make sure no one is left behind. 

My beautiful baby girl, growing every day in front of my eyes, I try to remember I’m only here to guide you. I won’t always be able to with you on your journey but I do know that wherever you go, I’ll only ever be one step behind you.­

24 Feb 2013

The Baby Show 2013 - Products I liked

This weekend I braved the cold and went to The Baby Show 2013 at Excel, when we arrived it was just getting busy but even by the time we left at about 1pm it still wasn't cramped. We really had a good look around and below are the things that get my vote in 2013...

A brilliant online magazine which is jam packed with expert advice, views and news and easy to read when you are rocking only four hours sleep!
Flexi-fit seat - I'm slightly addicted to all things potty related at the moment as Bubba is starting to want to use one, so this nifty innovative product gets my vote. It fits to toilets and its adjustable so that it fits the size of bubs bum (so no more falling down the middle).

Fillnsqueeze - when I was weaning first time around it was all about filling little pots that then filled up the whole freezer. With these you can make your own puree and then fill the squeezy packets, they can then be frozen, microwaved and don't take up much room. Also what child doesn't like squeezing these type of pouches.
My Carry Potty - this is brilliant (see told you I was a bit potty mad!) and it's going to save me lots of space because lets face it, trying to squeeze a full size potty under a buggy is never easy.

WOWMOM  app is great, it's a free download and allows you to find out the nearest places that are baby friendly. It's strap line is 'maps for mums on the go' and it really is useful. Try it out and see for yourself.


20 Feb 2013

Our day in Photographs

Before I started blogging I took a few photos a day but now it's through the roof on what I find interesting to take photos of and the silly situations I let Bubba get in before I put down the camera (or phone) and help her out.

You can tell I'm a blogger because the other day I realised that I had let Bubba climb onto a slightly unstable chair that she was then perched on the edge of precariously whilst I snapped away because I thought it would be good fodder for Instagram or the blog!

I also use the photo's I take as an aide memoir because by the time I've put Bub to bed and made dinner I have almost forgotten the days events. So now I often ask hubby once we've had dinner, (especially if he missed bub before she went to bed) if he wants to see our day in photos. I like doing this as it reminds me of what mood she was in when and what silliness she got up to. I tend to take some many photos now on my phone and less with a proper camera so the images aren't always that great but I'm trying to remember to take the camera with me when out and about.

Here are a selection of what we have got upto...(its very food heavy as its the only time she really sits still now)


18 Feb 2013

The phase maze

The one thing I've heard more than any other (and have also said myself) is the word phase.

"It's just a phase"
"Oh we had that phase"
"I'm sure she'll start sleeping soon, must be a phase"

Phase phase phase...that's the answer to any difficult changes. It's everyone's go to saying and if you think about it, childhood is just one big phase. They grow out of it eventually.

Our phases so far

No sleep - newborn stage, she seemed to be able to party hard and not sleep for days!

Some sleep - four hour stints when she was so little, I thought we had it good then.

Teething - ongoing which means no sleep (for any of us), lots of dribble (her), lack of appetite.

Sleeping through the night - I loved this phase and hope it comes back soon!

Eating food previously refused - She went off cheese and banana's for months on end, now she eats both with gusto again.

Refusing all her favourite foods - At one stage I had a freezer full of her favourite meals, now I wing it.

Wanting to walk everywhere - This at the time was great fun but took us an age to walk even the shortest distance.

Saying no to everything - Even when she wants to say yes, it comes out 'yes, no, yes, no NO!' as she looks longingly at whatever it is I have that she wants but is unable to say yes to.

Standing on anything - this drives me mad! She stands on magazines (why?) all the way to oven doors on a children's kitchen (which I think she then broke (sorry Amy)).

Wanting to walk nowhere - always saying 'up, up' as soon as out of buggy, she walks less now and wants to be carried more.

What about  you, what phases are your little ones going through?

13 Feb 2013


I often listen for you of an evening, those soft snuffly breaths reaching me through the monitor

I creep into your room and listen to make sure you are still ok when i go to bed. A deep restful breathing that calms me

I listen to you telling me what I need to do and I'm amazed at your grasp of language

Your giggles fill my heart and I will never tire of listening to you having fun

I roll over in the morning and try to get some more sleep and not listen to you singing and talking to your toys

I hear you calling out for me in the night and listen to what sort of cry you are having. Go back to sleep, I need a cuddle, I'm bored. I hear them all

I understand more and more of what you need but I still listen when you get frustrated when I don't understand you

The most special word I hear is 'Mumma' and I'll never get bored of listening to your voice 

I keep a silent vigil when you are unwell and listen in case you want a cuddle

I'll always be here to listen to your fears, frustrations, fun and adventure.


11 Feb 2013

Valentine's Day: How to avoid a comedy of errors

The table is set, the candles are lit and dinner is ready to be served. Nothing can spoil your perfect Valentine’s Day, right? Think again! According to a recent survey conducted by Littlewoods, men and women are equally likely to mess things up for their partners on that special day. Or in our case it's a small toddler who is teething, oh how I wish we were getting more sleep these days!
After all, there are some fairly obvious blunders to be made like missing the date completely, for one. Whilst you may think it unlikely that anyone in a relationship could forget to mark the 14th February in their calendars, over half of the men and women surveyed confessed that Valentine’s Day just isn’t that important to them, which could lead to a bit of marital discord if one half of the relationship is less enthusiastic about celebrating.
Our first Valentine's together was spent squeezed into the local Cafe Rouge where we couldn't even lift your fork without hitting the couple squeezed in next to us. Hubby remembers eating something made of lamb and that he wore a blue shirt - see, he has amazing powers when it comes to remembering details!!!
If you fall into the forgetful camp, it's worth marking the date in your diary now - especially as Valentine's arrives mid-week this year (It's this Thursday if you are one of the one's who has forgotten). Make sure you haven't got any important work meetings scheduled that will make you late getting home, and if you have children, why not arrange for a babysitter to take care of them for the night? It may be a bit of an indulgence, but Valentine's comes but once a year, after all.
Forgetting to buy a gift and stopping off at the local petrol station on the way home is another common faux pas, with 1 in 3 men admitting to buying questionable gifts for their partners as an after thought. Luckily Hubby now knows better and never buys petrol station fodder.
Take note, boys: whilst a novelty car freshener might seem witty and ironic at the time, it’s not going to impress your love – 1 in 4 women admit to being disappointed by a last-minute gift, demonstrating that ladies are unlikely to be duped by a lack lustre present. Lets face it, you can spot the rushed, smash and grab approach on the day from the other half and his nervous half grin as he hands it over.
Reassuringly, however, it seems that both men and women are relatively easy to please when it comes to the Valentine's date itself, with most women choosing a 'cosy home made dinner' as their preferred date, which is what is happening for us this year. So, if all else fails, dazzling your partner with your culinary prowess is one sure-fire way to earn points for effort. I'm hoping to put my feet up and let Hubby cook (he doesn't know it yet!).
If you haven't yet bought your loved one a present, you'll find plenty of great Valentine’s Day gift ideas at Littlewoods.com for inspiration. And here's a helpful hint for all the men out there: most women I know would choose jewellery as their ideal gift! (please remember that Hubby!)
this is a featured post


9 Feb 2013

We are One

As my baby is soon to be two, I realised that I've been blogging for a year now. I've found it has been my saviour on many an occasion and I now enjoy reading so many blogs and I have got lots of advice and help from fellow bloggers.

So to celebrate I went and had a make over, I'm a little in love with it already. Here's to the next year


2 Feb 2013

Five things - I do all the time

I often come over all woe is me and feel rather put upon and left out and like to moan about things (my husband would say I do this all the time)! So below are the things I find myself doing when I don't feel I've had enough time to myself.

Fantasise about time I haven't got
In my mind I would be sitting with a hot and very large tea in a cafe and reading my book, on my own, not that I really did this before bubba arrived. It's just having the option isn't it. On the flipside I fantasise that I don't have to do washing, getting up early and rushing to get out the door...these things will never happen.

Worry she has some illness or other
At first sign of a sniffle, I've already diagnosed her with some yucky sounding disease. I then take the worry one stage further and wonder if sleep is ever going to happen.ever.again. 

Roll my eyes and tut
What is that all about! I have never been an eye roller but now it seems I am! Bubba just looks at me and laughs and then carries on with what she was doing.

I self medicate with cakes
No explanation required. Bubba now also shouts for cake at various times during the day (sadly we never seem to have any in the house).

Act like a packhorse
Bubba now likes to take stuff out with her and I end up carrying it. This week I have had to carry three juggling balls in a nappy bag (I know, weird!), two happyland fairies, three ducks, her bedtime monkey (who is huge). She also tried to take out her shopping trolley the other day, I said no!

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