7 Mar 2013

Things I need (probably more than she does)

My baby is growing up quickly now and a lot of things I took for granted are now changing, this week we started putting her in big girl vests (not the babygrows any more) I know its late but she is such a diddy little thing that I haven't needed to change them. For me this was a big step to take (which I know sounds a bit soft and silly) but it's another sign that my baby isn't a baby any more. This led me to think of the other things that she used to need and now it's more me who needs them.

Reassuring cuddles
I'm always asking bubba for a cuddle or kisses. Sometimes she thinks about it and then says no. Other times she bounds straight over and throws herself at me. It's always short lived and I think it's me who needs these cuddles more than her now as when she was little she always wanted a cuddle.

Bottle of milk sat on my lap at bedtime
We've always done this and only recently a couple of times have I sat her down to drink it on her own. Until that point I hadn't really realised how important it was to me. Luckily she still prefers to cuddle up on me for this but probably not for much longer.

Constant checking in with me
She calls me constantly, if I leave the room and she can't see me then she will chant 'mumma, mumma, mummmaaaa? Until I reply or return. I used to find this (and still do really) brain numbing and it drills into my subconscious but I'd be lost without it. There will come a day that she isn't interested in what I'm up to.

Baby clothes/reminders
She is growing out of things and I have got rid of a lot of clothes and kept a lot for any more Bubba's but there is a small pile of things that I'm keeping for me. She has grown out of these bits and pieces but I just can't pass them on and can't think of putting another child in them. She doesn't need these things anymore and probably won't want them in the future but I just can't let go of them.

The time we spend together as a twosome
I have two days off a week to spend with Bubba, I find I really look forward to spending time with her just being at home pottering about. She on the other hand asks hopefully for 'nanna' and 'gaga' and if we go out alone and don't meet up with them she gets really crestfallen. I guess mama just isn't enough anymore.
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