4 Apr 2013

How it feels - when she won't eat

There is a smile plastered across my face, I know it's false and to be fair so does Bubba. I'm trying to look unaffected but again, we both know I'm fooling no one. The spoon in my hand is positioned ready for when she stops chewing and I desperately want to get just one spoonful of goodness into her. She is concentrating on eating one of the bread sticks I put on the side to hopefully deflect her attention. I know she likes this dinner, she always used to eat it and even now once she gets going she'll eat most of it, that's of course if she is in the right mood or isn't teething or feeling unwell or just doesn't feel like eating it!

She shakes her head and in that moment I feel my shoulders slump. She pushes at the plate and tries to get up, this always gets my heckles up. She knows this. I try again 'do you want some magic sauce, mmmm this looks lovely'. My voice sounds slightly shrill even to me, she looks up and back at the plate and frowns. I reach for the ketchup and drizzle some across her food. I always promised myself I'd never resort to using sauce but its the only thing that worked and now it's my crutch.

Suddenly I seize my moment, her mouth is open, she isn't chewing. I swiftly deposit some cottage pie (lovingly made by me) into her mouth. She clamps it shut, fixes a steely gaze on me and starts to chew. I feel anxious and euphoric all at once, I know she likes it but I'm not sure it'll stay in her mouth very long. It goes in and stays in, notchalantly I try for another but this time it goes in and she lets it dribble off her chin back out again. She then pushes the plate away again 'no mama NO' I am crushed, she will not take another mouthful. She refuses to pick up the spoon or fork and won't even look at the food, it's as if she believes I have poisoned her. I've hit the point of no return, her interest is lost and whatever I offer (unless it's a yoghurt or some fruit) won't get eaten.

The worst bit is that I know as soon as I reach the kitchen that I'll stuff the rest of the uneaten goodness into my mouth and that's not good for my waist line!

Another food battle lost, I'll try it all over again tomorrow.

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