2 Jul 2013

It's Motherhood not Glamourhood...

As mothers we are bombarded with images of celebrities who are doting mothers, internationally recognised individuals (looking right at ya Beyonce!) and have the perfect marriage (seemingly). They wax lyrical about having it all and how they are blessed with the joy of their child (I promise I also think this when my child is asleep...she is so cute and lovely then) the media coined the phrase 'yummy mummy' and 'mumpreneur' to describe woman who work and have children. Well folks, I'm neither a yummy mummy or business woman of the year, it's not all glamour and I can't jet around the world taking my baby with me. But I'm one of the very women who get sucked into this idea that I should be 'having it all' and 'doing it all perfectly' and when I see another picture of a glamorous woman with a kid all kitted out in designer clothes, acting perfectly and gazing lovingly at its mother, my heart sinks. I wonder where the mother gets the time and inclination to look that good because I often can't be faffed to wear my best undies, do my hair and put make up on in the same month, let alone the same day! As for the gym, well I seem to have lost my motivation and groove since becoming a mother and have spurts of energy and enthusiasm which quickly disappears.

The other day as I wrestled a trolley out of Sainsburys and my child was strapped into her monkey harness because she had repeatedly run off and laughed manically at me (thinking it was funny, she would sprint off, wait for me to be in grabbing distance and then she would sprint off again) obviously this isn't as much 'fun' when I'm trying to walk across a busy car park. I was having a tough day because life wasn't exactly going to plan for me. I saw a woman casually strolling across the carpark, her hair looked good, she was wearing a lovely top and she just looked well put together and relaxed. More importantly she didn't have any children with her and my first thought was 'god I wish I was that woman right now' as I pulled on Bubba's reigns again to try and regain some of the control whilst my trolley with a life of its own was trying to veer towards the road. In that moment I bought wholeheartedly into the 'yummy mummy' vibe and berated myself for the bedraggled hair, mismatched clothes and the toddler trying her best to get us both run over.

The irony is that as this vision of a woman got closer, I realised it was none other than my lovely sister in law. My bubble burst quickly (sorry SIL, love you loads) because I know the truth, I know she has two fab little girls and well she is married to my brother!! I know she doesn't jet around the world, she had many of the same experiences when her babies were little and she is a normal, down to earth lady. She has crap days when the girls don't stop fighting and annoying each other, her hair needs doing (it always looks lovely to me SIL I promise) and she can't find a thing to wear. It goes back to that old 'don't judge a book by its cover' saying because that day I was very judgemental on myself and thought everyone else was a much better person and they probably wouldn't get frustrated and just wish their child could shut up for one second (because now Bubba just doesn't stop talking and talking and talking)!

I just need to start believing my own hype and a 'good enough' mum is all I can really be and Bubba doesn't care either way. Who cares if my belly jiggles over the top of my jeans sometimes and I look tired and bedraggled. Besides I know that these celeb mums have personal trainers on tap, night nannies and day nannies and some one taking the babies away when life gets a little too much! So the fact that most of us do it without the extra help, juggle our finances and try not to loose the plot in the Sainsburys car park, makes us more 'super mum' than 'yummy mum'.

Its not all coffee and cake dates
Besides I bet Beyonce's little girl doesn't turn to her and say " No mummy that isn't clever, it's not a toy"...I was only mucking around with her t-shirt and throwing it around the room - well who is the toddler now eh!
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