31 Aug 2013

A Good Enough Mother

the voice I have to emulate!
I've been struggling with this concept lately, my baby girl is now growing up rapidly and with it she has lots more energy, intelligence and ability.

I've found this fairly challenging lately, questioning my every decision and feeling exhausted by my daughters energy levels. I wonder if I'm giving her enough of my time, is she being more of a pickle to get attention?

When she wants to do running in the garden, all I want to do is sit down. I'll do running for a bit but then get bored and want to stop. I'm happy doing a puzzle with her but loose the will to carry on when she keeps asking me to talk dolphin to her (read: putting on a stupid voice!!)

Do I take her on enough days out? We spend lots of time at home when others seem to be going places like farms or play centres. She sees people we love lots but are we creating enough memories and stimulation for her. Or does it not matter a jot to her at this age?

Adding another baby to the mix means I will have even less time to devote to her. Already I feel terribly guilty and a bit trapped by the cycle of not feeling I'm doing my best. I know times will change and she will need me less or just in different ways. Right now I feel that I'm just about scraping by on being a low grade good enough mum when I think I should be on the side of great mum!
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