16 Aug 2013

Does shouting work?

I've never been big on shouting at kids, in my opinion it doesn't work and doesn't stop them doing it again whilst also reducing the adult to more of a child. Don't get me wrong, I talk sharply to bubba and would shout at her if she was in danger but hope that's the only time. I reprimand her and use the naughty step when needed but I don't disrespect her by really shouting at her. I'd hate someone shouting at me for a misdemeanour even now as an adult.

When I arrived to pick up Bubba from nursery on Wednesday, I could hear (who I thought was) a mild mannered teacher shouting in the little toilet at a boy, telling him to leave the toilet. There were about three little boys lined up waiting to go and mucking around so it was probably a stressful situation and I immediately thought 'bet he's been cheeky all day' and we all get to that point where you are so frustrated. As I left with bubba I thought 'would I want that woman shouting at my child?' and more importantly do I want my child exposed to an environment when kids get shouted at for doing what kids do by a woman who gets paid to look after them?

It happened again on Friday, I walked down the corridor with Bubba to find the woman shouting at a little girl to stop making a noise (which was a loud annoying shouty noise). When we arrived it changed from shouting to saying it in a clipped tone. There were other teachers around (I think they are called 'key workers' these days) so couldn't one of them distracted her or diffused the situation!?! The fact that the yelling stopped when I walked in the classroom is telling to me, if you aren't willing to shout in front of a parent, should you be shouting at all!

The more I think about it, the more it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd hate for anyone to shout at my lovely girl (I know she can be cheeky sometimes). I'd feel better if it was explained in a personal way to her that her actions were impacting on others. Am I being naive? Shouting doesn't work on kids, it doesn't explain what they are doing to them in order to stop the action. Isn't it just the adult loosing all control of the situation. Or am I wrong?

So what do I do now? Move her, report the teacher or nothing? It's the first time I've heard anything like this and I'm not sure whether I'm going overboard or if I'm too early into this parenthood journey to fully appreciate what it does to you! I'm not even sure it was as bad as I'm writing it on here, looks worse on paper. I  do think we will move bubba to a play school when she is three and have her going five mornings or afternoons a week rather than a condensed two days. So at least it's decided that for me when the time comes.
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