17 Feb 2014

Hormonal musings - 34 weeks

I'm now fast approaching 34 weeks pregnant which is daunting to say the least.

My emotions have been a slight struggle but nothing like before. When I get seriously tired things start to fall apart more but think it helps that I haven't got long left because I spend my time worrying about that instead. I'm off to see the consultant again next week for a check up and also seeing the midwife every two weeks and the health visitor is coming for a home visit before baby arrives. So it's all a bit busy on the appointment front.

Bubba hasn't been sleeping well, we've both had bad colds (which I'm really struggling with at the moment) and hubby has spent three out of the last five nights sleeping on her floor just so we all get some sort of sleep. She has been waking a few times a night and not going back to sleep unless someone is in the room with her. She has also been more clingy to her dummy (something we were thinking of getting rid of because she'd lost interest in it). It feels like a real regression on the whole, I'm guessing she anxious about all the changes too.  Not a good situation at all. If I wasn't so tired, this would of had me in spasms of 'omg this is the worst thing in the world!' But I seem to have kept my cool a bit more which is unnerving. Guess in the next few months it's going to get a lot worse on the sleep front anyway.

I've also developed pregnancy insomnia which is a delight! I'm bone weary tired at night but cannot sleep or I'll wake between 4-5am and not be able to go back to sleep. This is on top of waking every time I turn over. I'm getting used to the level of sleep deprivation at the moment but find it a cruel part of the process. Just when I need the most sleep, I'm getting the least!

I was going to work up until a few weeks before baby is born but I'm scaling that back just to try and get some rest inbetween. Everything about this pregnancy seems more of a struggle. Baby is still breech and although still has time to turn, something in me believes he may not so gearing myself up for the alternatives. He moves happily still and Bubba loves nothing more than putting her head on my belly and laughing when he kicks (or rather when I make him fake kick).

I've been getting carpal tunnel syndrome in my hands which leaves them numb, tingling and puffy. This is usually when I wake in the morning. It's another thing that's new to this pregnancy. I'm not sure if it's because I'm three years older than last time and closer to 40 that I'm more falling apart this time or because it's just a different pregnancy.

I seem more anxious about birth this time, worried how I will cope with a toddler and early contractions. Worried about leaving Bubba at home whilst I'm in hospital, worried I won't be any good at labour and birthing my baby. All things I realise aren't things I can control now and things will happen as they will!

On a nicer note, my lovely friends gave me a surprise baby shower.
It was wonderful and we ate, drank too much tea and tucked into an amazing array of cakes and sandwiches. A very special day indeed and I felt spoilt (& very full afterwards).

After weeks of struggling through a trying not to let bubba sleep at dodgy times because she's gone all array on naps and feeling frustrated by her non eating. I came home to bubba eating chilli (with veg) and having asked to sleep on the sofa at a reasonable hour! Guess I'll just have to go out more often!!!
Sorry this isn't a particularity positive post but it's as good as it gets at the moment!
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