When things go wonky

I think I was trying too hard to be a superwoman, you know, get it all done. In half term I'd got both babies ready and out most days, this day I'd done a full shop and manage to get both kids asleep at any early enough time that it wouldn't mess with bedtime. It happened in the blink of an eye, not exactly sure when but I must of carried something too heavy. I felt my back getting twingy, I suffered once before when Bubba was small where I was laid up for a few days with a rogue muscle spasm. It scared me enough that time, you don't realise how much you use your back. Sounds stupid I know but seriously there isn't a moment you don't use your back and until it goes wonky, you don't realise. Especially when you have a small baby, all that bending and changing, it's hard on the back.

As the day progressed, my back got stiffer and by the next morning I was unable to walk without hobbling and sitting or laying was painful. I couldn't even manage the middle of the night feed for this little fella.

Luckily it was a Saturday and after making it downstairs, only to swear big time because of the pain, I then ended back upstairs in bed.

I cried and lamented my sorrows and how I couldn't be a good mum and that 'I hadn't even held my son yet'! Then hubby took Bubba out to the park and left me with the little fella because I was near useless. Again I felt sorry for myself because I was messing up everyone's day and missing out on all the fun.

Then I realised in lucky, not lucky to have a crappy back and unable to move. But lucky I had a supportive hubby who could take the bundle of energy out and they could spend some time together.

Lucky that I got to spend some quiet time with my boy which hasn't happened all week because of said whirlwind. Also lucky that I had time to miss my girl and wonder what she was up to.

It's difficult to not be on top form and hand over the control (I have huge perfectionist tendencies) but it's nice to be able to rest and relax and take some time for myself. Plus I got to watch Zach Effron so it's not all bad!