23 Jun 2014

Toddler tantrums and tiaras

Well we've been having an interesting time of late! My little man is now almost ten weeks old and bubba is just starting to settle with the situation.

The first two weeks he was here she was really good and we all settled down to life as a four. Around week three, she was back at preschool and suddenly she unleashed all her anger on me. Going in to preschool she'd hang around my legs and want me to go in with her (parents aren't allowed in), she was literally being prized off me every day. I was so tired and emotional anyway that daily I'd walk cub back to the car sobbing and wondering what I'd done.

She'd leave preschool initially happy but as soon as she saw the car seat or pram you could see her face drop, a look of confusion clouded her eyes and hell would be unleashed on me. Some days she wouldn't get in the car, other days she wouldn't get out. Other times we'd make it home but if I looked at her again I would get her full fury. It was such a horrible time and makes me want to weep. Bubba would kick and scream, try and hit me, tell me she hated me and not look at me. I was devastated and highly emotional anyway.

She still liked her baby brother and daddy, it was just me.


We also had issues with going to the loo, I've read that some children regress and end up having accidents. Well my girl went the other way and point blank refused to go to the toilet, she would hold her wee for hours (almost all day sometimes). If I mentioned it and asked her to go, all hell would break loose and it would result in her not going for even longer.

Bedtime also brought a new set of challenges, she would not want to get out of the bath and would sit in the empty bath shouting that she wouldn't get out. Once in her room she would refuse to put pj's on and then once in bed she would insist someone sat in the chair with her until she went to sleep. It was exhausting to be a part of and when it was my turn I would sit in the dark quietly crying at what I'd unleashed onto our little family. I would constantly ask hubby if we had done the right thing, just one look at my boy proves it's all worth it but at the time I felt like this was squarely all my fault.

I had never seen her so angry and out of control, my girl had always been calm, obviously she had her moments but never could I not talk her down from a situation. Now she was so full of rage, I can't even explain it really, it was awful to watch bubba struggling so much. After she had her hissy fit she would be so full of remorse and cry her little eyes out (usually whilst cuddled up to me), heartbreaking stuff.

Now even things like stepping on her tiara and cutting her foot would send her bouncing off the walls with anger (rather than pain!). No other tiara would do and we searched high and low to get her one the same if not similar but nothing was good enough.

Middle of the night not only was I feeding the little man but either hubby or myself  had to go in and put Bubba back to bed at least once. It wasn't always my boy waking her up because he doesn't really cry, I think she just needed the reassurance. A few times hubby ended up sleeping on her floor because we couldn't keep her in bed and then she would still wake up and get up at 5.20am.

We seem to be out the other side of it now, I've weaned her off having to have someone stay in her room till she falls asleep. I'm working on the 5.20am get ups by starting to use her monkey sleep training clock and the last few days she has stayed in bed until the monkey opens his eyes (currently 6am now). We are still having at least one middle of the night wake up but she will go back to bed and sleep straight away...I'm working on it but realise this could just be because she is three and sleep is always illusive at this age.

Her rage seems to have subsided (at 6 weeks in) and she has a little tantrum but not to the level she is trying to hurt herself/me or our stuff. She will try it on and then the crying subsides after a few minutes or when I offer some sort of alternative. My funny, head strong, sweet girl is back and we are having fun again and I just hope it lasts.
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21 Jun 2014

Things I regularly say


So having a three year old is fun, she comes out with the cutest and most outrageous things (often at the same time). Sometimes it can be a challenge and I find myself (parrot fashion) trotting out the same old tired phrases. These are my top five...

"Gently"

This covers a whole range of situations. Whether it be touching her brother on his head and really close to the soft spot!!! Or when she's picking something up that could break/squeeze out/crush, it's my go to word.

"Don't wake your brother up!"

Now this, I admit, is a fairly new addition but used the most at the moment. It always seems that as soon as he goes to close his eyes, her decibel levels rise and rise and rise. Or after I've rocked him and paced up and down and nearly lost my mind because he is crying and she is demanding my attention, he goes to sleep and she decides in that split second to cry herself or wave objects near his mat. We have so many near misses!

"In a minute!"

I'm slightly ashamed to say this is usually said it a slightly terse tone. It's just that as soon as I pick him up or pay any attention to him, she's on me. She wants something done just as I sit down to feed him or decides that it's a good time to do a poo and demands I wipe her bum (at all other times she is happy to sit on potty for what seems like hours, I have to bribe her off it). This is also used whilst I'm cooking her dinner, she can ignore me for ages and then...boom...as soon as I do something else she is on my case.

"Wait/Slow down"

These are usually said together as I'm struggling to put the buggy together or we are walking along. Bubba gallops off and I'm constantly shouting "wait". Thankfully she stops but I reckon it's only a matter of time before she keeps going. I often find myself saying this when she is talking, believe me the girl can talk and often it comes out all at once.

"Ok, ok, okay"

This one even Bubba has adopted when I ask her to do something. She even says it in the same tone as I do, in a slightly harassed mother of two way! Whoops. But this is usually coupled with a softer tone (god knows how) whilst she is having a tantrum and I usually tell her "everything is going to be ok" to calm her down. 
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13 Jun 2014

Anthony and the Ants - book review

Our latest book buddy review arrived from Parragon. 'Anthony and the Ants' by Gemma Raynor.


Again it's a very fitting choice for us, although Bubba doesn't like ants...she loves this book. At the moment we read it every night.

Anthony just wants to eat his food but ants keep carrying it off! He then tries to escape them and gets himself in a spot of bother with a bear.

It's a good book for us as it's all about sharing and helping others out. With a new baby brother, my girl is struggling with sharing and helping. 

It's a simple message and at bed time it's a nice winding down book.
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12 Jun 2014

Nobody told me

When you have children, nobody tells you...

That two is so much harder than one! Seriously you will wonder how to clone yourself

Sleep isn't something you'll ever feel you get enough of

You'll argue with and ignore your partner more than in your whole relationship leading up to this point

You will ask questions already knowing the answer, just to prove a point

Going to the bathroom alone will feel like a luxury 

Going to the supermarket alone will have you looking over your shoulder the whole time, trying to locate the missing child

Your memory will be shot to pieces, remembering what day it is, how old you are and if you've brushed your hair will leave you dumbfounded

The kids will drive you to distraction 

You will sit up worrying about or tending to a sick child...for days

They will never leave you alone, EVER!

The moment they leave you alone, you will worry about what they are doing

If you go away, you will pine for those children who sent you round the bend

Some days it will feel like your brain is leaking out of your ears

Most days at some point, someone will be crying directly at you

They tell you they hate you, it breaks your heart

You'll wonder "whose bloody idea was this?" Daily!

Your partner will NEVER understand the pressure you are under, how you cope or what you do all day

You will feel envious of your husbands freedom. 'Sorry I'm late. Oh I forgot the time...' Isn't something you can ever say because picking children up from here/there/everywhere becomes your life

'Me Time' isn't something you ever said before children but it's all you say now

Looking in the mirror, you won't recognise the woman you've become. Good or bad, you've changed

When you close your eyes you wonder how much sleep the little tikes will allow you tonight

Reminiscing about luxury holidays, afternoons down the pub and spur of the moment shopping trips will make you depressed

Those little people become your world...you would do anything and I mean anything to make their world ok again

If you had your time over, you'd do it exactly the same

The love is so overwhelming, consuming and powerful...nobody tells you that!
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4 Jun 2014

When things go wonky

I think I was trying too hard to be a superwoman, you know, get it all done. In half term I'd got both babies ready and out most days, this day I'd done a full shop and manage to get both kids asleep at any early enough time that it wouldn't mess with bedtime. It happened in the blink of an eye, not exactly sure when but I must of carried something too heavy. I felt my back getting twingy, I suffered once before when Bubba was small where I was laid up for a few days with a rogue muscle spasm. It scared me enough that time, you don't realise how much you use your back. Sounds stupid I know but seriously there isn't a moment you don't use your back and until it goes wonky, you don't realise. Especially when you have a small baby, all that bending and changing, it's hard on the back.

As the day progressed, my back got stiffer and by the next morning I was unable to walk without hobbling and sitting or laying was painful. I couldn't even manage the middle of the night feed for this little fella.

Luckily it was a Saturday and after making it downstairs, only to swear big time because of the pain, I then ended back upstairs in bed.

I cried and lamented my sorrows and how I couldn't be a good mum and that 'I hadn't even held my son yet'! Then hubby took Bubba out to the park and left me with the little fella because I was near useless. Again I felt sorry for myself because I was messing up everyone's day and missing out on all the fun.

Then I realised in lucky, not lucky to have a crappy back and unable to move. But lucky I had a supportive hubby who could take the bundle of energy out and they could spend some time together.

Lucky that I got to spend some quiet time with my boy which hasn't happened all week because of said whirlwind. Also lucky that I had time to miss my girl and wonder what she was up to.

It's difficult to not be on top form and hand over the control (I have huge perfectionist tendencies) but it's nice to be able to rest and relax and take some time for myself. Plus I got to watch Zach Effron so it's not all bad!
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