23 Jun 2014

Toddler tantrums and tiaras

Well we've been having an interesting time of late! My little man is now almost ten weeks old and bubba is just starting to settle with the situation.

The first two weeks he was here she was really good and we all settled down to life as a four. Around week three, she was back at preschool and suddenly she unleashed all her anger on me. Going in to preschool she'd hang around my legs and want me to go in with her (parents aren't allowed in), she was literally being prized off me every day. I was so tired and emotional anyway that daily I'd walk cub back to the car sobbing and wondering what I'd done.

She'd leave preschool initially happy but as soon as she saw the car seat or pram you could see her face drop, a look of confusion clouded her eyes and hell would be unleashed on me. Some days she wouldn't get in the car, other days she wouldn't get out. Other times we'd make it home but if I looked at her again I would get her full fury. It was such a horrible time and makes me want to weep. Bubba would kick and scream, try and hit me, tell me she hated me and not look at me. I was devastated and highly emotional anyway.

She still liked her baby brother and daddy, it was just me.


We also had issues with going to the loo, I've read that some children regress and end up having accidents. Well my girl went the other way and point blank refused to go to the toilet, she would hold her wee for hours (almost all day sometimes). If I mentioned it and asked her to go, all hell would break loose and it would result in her not going for even longer.

Bedtime also brought a new set of challenges, she would not want to get out of the bath and would sit in the empty bath shouting that she wouldn't get out. Once in her room she would refuse to put pj's on and then once in bed she would insist someone sat in the chair with her until she went to sleep. It was exhausting to be a part of and when it was my turn I would sit in the dark quietly crying at what I'd unleashed onto our little family. I would constantly ask hubby if we had done the right thing, just one look at my boy proves it's all worth it but at the time I felt like this was squarely all my fault.

I had never seen her so angry and out of control, my girl had always been calm, obviously she had her moments but never could I not talk her down from a situation. Now she was so full of rage, I can't even explain it really, it was awful to watch bubba struggling so much. After she had her hissy fit she would be so full of remorse and cry her little eyes out (usually whilst cuddled up to me), heartbreaking stuff.

Now even things like stepping on her tiara and cutting her foot would send her bouncing off the walls with anger (rather than pain!). No other tiara would do and we searched high and low to get her one the same if not similar but nothing was good enough.

Middle of the night not only was I feeding the little man but either hubby or myself  had to go in and put Bubba back to bed at least once. It wasn't always my boy waking her up because he doesn't really cry, I think she just needed the reassurance. A few times hubby ended up sleeping on her floor because we couldn't keep her in bed and then she would still wake up and get up at 5.20am.

We seem to be out the other side of it now, I've weaned her off having to have someone stay in her room till she falls asleep. I'm working on the 5.20am get ups by starting to use her monkey sleep training clock and the last few days she has stayed in bed until the monkey opens his eyes (currently 6am now). We are still having at least one middle of the night wake up but she will go back to bed and sleep straight away...I'm working on it but realise this could just be because she is three and sleep is always illusive at this age.

Her rage seems to have subsided (at 6 weeks in) and she has a little tantrum but not to the level she is trying to hurt herself/me or our stuff. She will try it on and then the crying subsides after a few minutes or when I offer some sort of alternative. My funny, head strong, sweet girl is back and we are having fun again and I just hope it lasts.
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