24 Nov 2014

Rewards and Cake Dates

For a few weeks we've been struggling with Bubba's behaviour, she can fly off the handle without warning and her favourite word is 'no' on repeat and without pausing. It gets infuriating and upsetting all at once and we haven't been able to move on from it.

It came to a head at the weekend, I felt I was loosing myself and the bond with my girl, there was shouting on all sides and it felt horrible. So I did what all good mothers should do, I went on a cake date with one of my besties and she helped me sort through the muddle and suggested lots of things to break the cycle. I had only had three hours sleep as both children had been up at the same time screaming, I'd had a crying fit myself and the husband was out drinking so wasn't about to help us all. So cake was the only option for me alongside a cappuccino and it helped immensely.

The biggest suggestion my friend had was to use a reward chart, although we have tried these before (we never really needed to do one properly until now) as my girl may be strong willed but she is still fairly laid back and could be talked around. So that night whilst still high on sugar and caffeine, I whipped up a dog related reward chart, dug out some special stickers and we were off.

The girl likes dogs and is convinced she will be getting a dog for Christmas (she's not) so it had to be Dalmatians. I did it so each day for a week she will need to get three stars and at the end of the week she gets a surprise. The surprise isn't actually a surprise anymore as I told her we will go to Build a Bear factory and get her Clarice the Reindeer (which I was going to get anyway for me...err I mean her).

So each night she has to stay in bed or if she wakes then she has to go straight back to bed (last week she had been refusing to do this and instead sat at her gate moaning and whining to go downstairs usually around 2am...joy!), the second star is to be happy, she has to stop refusing to do everything I ask of her and to stay calm, third star is earned if she goes to toilet in the morning and evening - the girl can seriously hold her wee and won't go on waking up (sometimes waiting until about 10am before she goes).

So far so good, she has risen to the challenge and earned all three stars on the first day, although we had a few issues at times. I feel more positive already and got on really well with Bubba which was a blessing, the week can and probably will bring lots of challenges but so far so good.

The morale of the story is that when you don't know what to do or whether you can carry on, go out with a friend, forget the diet and just eat cake. The answers will present themselves and if they don't well you've still had some lovely cake and a good natter.

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