6 Apr 2015

Softer

Apart from the obvious parts of me that have become squidgy and soft after having two kids, I realised my mind has become softer too.

I look at photos of that fearless 20 something and the determined 30 year old and don't recognise her. Now in my late 30's (God, really, am I?) I've lost my edge. My world as for all mothers, is about keeping my babies happy and healthy.


I cry more often and easily and don't care who sees, I worry a hell of a lot more about the world around us. I do laugh more but I'm also conscious of what I'm laughing at.

I'd no longer challenge strangers, especially when I've got the children with me because I feel we are vulnerable. Obviously if it's serious then I would but for the flare ups in every day life like some one taking my parking space, I let it go.

The other day I made myself some toast in the morning and put two slices in the toaster, I only really wanted one but I knew that my babies would look at my plate and want to share and I too want to be a sharer. As predicted Bubba said "I want your toast" so I gave her a quarter and then the boy looked longingly at my plate and I offered him a slice too. Both babies were happy and I didn't care that I only had a slice because I wanted to give them what I had.

My approach is calmer now,  I'll think before I react and consider what my children would think and how it will affect them.

I'm softer but I'm stronger and I have real purpose now. I'm more than I've ever been before and I have two little people to thank for that.






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