16 May 2015

Dear new mum of two

Dear New Mum of Two,

I know when considering having your second child, your first was at that adorable age and your hormones ruled the world.

You through rose tinted, child finger print smeared goggles thought it was going to be a breeze (you know...cos you've done it all before) but now realise it's not!

Never fear, you will get through this 'phase' of sheer hell that's presented itself.

Your toddler may hate you right now and be throwing some award winning tantrums (mine lovingly told me she hated me at every opportunity whilst trying to trash the house...her favourite thing to do was kick the front door or car door yelling "let me out, I hate you mummy" the last few syllables would go up an octave or two).

Your first born will quickly learn to embrace the new arrival - sometimes quite literally and your favourite phrase may be "don't squeeze your brother/sister too hard" or "no, no...let him go now, he's going a bit red" as her hands clamp shut around his head/neck/leg* *insert relevant body part.

But this is a good sign, honest it is. It's all part of the bonding process.

Your body may resemble a pile of spuds in a sack and you can't remember (or care) when you last shaved anything!!! But this will change so stop worrying that even six months in, your clothes don't fit. Maternity chic can last well into your first year (or second or third...). Stretch waist is one of life's pleasures. You will get some motivation back and chasing after two little terrors can do wonders for your waist line.

Be gentle with yourself when all you want to do of an evening is sink into a bottle of wine or you are asleep by 8pm. This is normal and part of the healing process. You, like your newborn will be able to stay awake longer the older the baby gets. Your ability to play rubbish games with your toddler whilst the baby is napping will get better without you screaming in your head over and over again "I should be asleep now, I should be asleep!"

The desire to have another baby, yes I know you've only just had one but those pesky hormones get in the way, will ease off once your baby becomes mobile and sleeps less and your toddler learns more complex ways to get an emotional response from you. Please don't jump head long into that 'god I love kids and want loads' mentality too soon, enjoy your littles as they are and then once you are getting more sleep think about getting less again!

Above all, drink wine, eat pizza and enjoy your children, hopefully they will develop a very strong bond (of course they will) and remind yourself that they can, in the future, entertain each other and look after you in your old age.

Mostly just remember, this is all just a phase!

A Mum who has been there and getting through it

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