20 Nov 2015

The Guilts...

As I cradled my son at 4.30am this morning and it was clear that he wasn't going to be put back in bed (he screamed if I even mentioned his bed). In the dark as I rocked us both back and forth my guilts started taking over.

I remember a time, vaguely, when my guilt levels hit at having too much wine on a night out or finishing a family size pizza all to myself...seriously who's family would be happy eating one pizza between four!!! One slice each...really?

Anyway, now my guilts hit daily and sometimes hourly and everything is included in the remit. They are often contradictory too, so here are my recent ones...what others do you have?

I felt guilty at...

going to work and not staying at home

Whether I was showing my kids enough love

Maybe I'm making my boy dependant on me...(honestly so contradicting of the point above...)

Not understanding what my customers really want

Wanting to succeed at work

Bring my children up in a world that's gone crazy

Not putting my kids in vests...

Eating that cupcake last night

Having not got any Christmas presents yet

Eating my daughters sweets and then making out they were lost...when they were in my belly!

I felt guilty that I feel guilty so often...

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