9 Mar 2016

I Remember...

Wondering if you'd ever arrive (after four days of early labour).

Thinking it was unfair that my husband could sleep whilst I painted my way through contractions on our bedroom floor.

Feeling scared and lonely and only wanting my mum.

Knowing that I could do this, after crying that I couldn't take the pain any more.

Being so proud of myself that I got through labour on only gas and air.

The euphoria as they placed you on my chest.

Feeling overwhelmed with emotion and love for someone I had created.

When you were so tiny and I thought I might break you.

Watching everything you did with wonderment.

The first smile you gave me, the first laugh saved for me.

Thinking the sleepless nights would never end.

Wanting to savour every moment as time seemed to speed up.

Crying my eyes out the first day I left you to go to work.

Loving that you would eat anything and everything.

Seeing you start to walk, talk and be cheeky.

Feeling helpless when you were unwell.

Noticing as you became picky with food.

Standing by as you hated me leaving you at nursery.

Hoping we'd always have a unique bond.

Laughing at your quirky personality and funny ways.

Understanding you'd have a lovely bond with your baby brother.

Waiting as that bond developed.

Seeing as the squabbles began.

Knowing that you've got each other's back.

Learning as you showed us how caring and fun you can be.

I thought you might never grow up but I'm delighted to see how you are.

How much I love you every day.

Happy 5th birthday my little Bubba xx

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