23 May 2016

Being away from my babies was bittersweet

For a long time I've been a mother first and everything else afterwards. Life carried on but as a new mother my whole focus on life and the world shifted. Things that never bothered me before suddenly become scary as hell because my main desire was to protect those babies I'd given birth to.

As well as learning new skills I also lost lots more to make room for all the new information. I never realised but when I became confident in my ability to be a good mum, I lost my confidence in the world and in pushing myself to try new things. Big things I simply had no time or energy for and I forgot to help my mind grow.

Last weekend is the first I've spent away from my family for more than one night. It was a real push for me to go and for a few weeks before I started grinding my teeth in my sleep and manifesting stress related ailments. I wanted to come away but leaving my babies for three nights was outside of my comfort zone. Let's not even start on the guilt, I felt guilty that hubby had to do it alone, guilt that I was missing swimming lessons in the big pool (my girls 1st), guilt guilt, guilt about anything you can think of.

I went away to a Leaders retreat at Centre Parcs, with twelve other women. I didn't know any of these women outside of my computer screen. It was a massive learning curve and I missed my loves. But it was also one of the best things I've done, I put my business first this weekend and it was one of the best things I have done for my mind.
I've learnt lots and I've got used to all different personality types. You may be thinking 'I go away on business all the time' but this wasn't enforced at all and there for me to take my business forward. More than that, I've learnt my family doesn't fall apart when I'm away, I can do things other that expand my mind but I don't think I'll venture too far from my loves because I missed them.

Although when I picked up Bubba from School, she ran towards me and then right past to ask Daddy if she could go to the Kinder Egg shop!!!

And if you haven't been to Centre Parcs Longleat then I would definitely recommend it for the gorgeous views but beware, it is very hilly so you'll get a good work out.

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