23 Mar 2017

It's been a while but I'm back

So you may have missed me (or not) but I took a bit of a break as things were getting the better of me. It turns out that the issues my lovely Bubba was having at school were also affecting me (big time), I lost all sense of myself and my role, I raged against everything and basically ate my emotions. I've put on weight, my skin is bad and I'm lethargic and the worst bit is I knew what I was doing and still didn't stop. My hubby even advised I stopped but I couldn't, I was punishing myself for not protecting my baby better.

I feel I've turned a corner now, the resolve to change this situation has finally kicked in and I want to take control. It's a good feeling.

We've also celebrated Bubba's 6th birthday last week. She declared it the best birthday ever and squealed when she got the most expensive, fluff covered and scented  backpack. Hubby almost keeled over declaring 'what fresh hell is this' when I told him what I'd spent in the child heaven stationary shop! I spent most of last week and the weekend reminiscing and telling her stories of when she was a baby. I'm clutching onto the past, time seems to be rushing past and I can't believe I've spent the last 6yrs worrying and not sleeping because of my baby. She's now become all arms and legs...like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. I marvel at how far we've all grown and how life has evolved, it's now the simplest pleasures that make life great, like drinking a coffee in the sunshine whilst the kids play happily together. I can just imagine the face of my younger self being told that would be all it takes..!

I'm also gearing up for becoming the mother of a three year old in about four weeks time, it's going to be interesting. He is all about the 'why' right now and it's funny how quickly you forget how annoying that is. Ever other word is why why why and it can be exhaustive trying to answer his questions and he is relentless in his pursuit of 'why'. I'm finding dealing with the demands of a strong and boisterous boy confusing to say the least, so different from raising a girl but very entertaining.

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